What I’ve notice during the five part paragraphs that I listened to had weak or no transitions. Paragraphs need transitions to make the paper flow when changing topics or points. Without transitions, you feel you are jumping to one point to another or, it just sounds choppy. Most papers I listened to had great paragraphs, strong points, but the transitions were weak. It was like BAM! When we heard the commentary, then readers lost interest and didn’t know what the next point was or where it started. I also saw people repeated terms many times through their paper. Papers would sound repetitive and get boring, they would sound like they went on forever.
I haven’t heard my paper critique yet but I know already that I have lots to improve on. My paragraph wouldn’t stand out I think. There was no vocabulary, I had basics words. Everything was plain; it wasn’t as extravagant as others. My work could pull off as good but not great. I had weak and repetitive commentary on the concrete detail. I could improve on my hook, I think it wouldn’t catch the reader’s attention, but I did like the points that I was trying to prove.
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